Ever looked into the mirror and wished you had a prettier face, a lighter skin tone, rounder eyes or a heavier bust?
I have, many times, and there’s nothing wrong in wishing for things, especially if some of these things can be worked for and achieved, like a sharper jawline or maybe those toned arms and legs but most of the other physical entities are often harder to reverse unless you are willing to go under the knife or have some crazy hormonal infusions.
But before we even get there, who defines what is beautiful, what is perfect? And what proof do you have that these measures are accurate?
And if they are not, why beat ourselves for being anything different?
Well, I did, at one point. At about 12 years of age, when all my other friends were busy growing bigger fuller busts and I was busy climbing trees, I met multiple friends and family who mocked me for my smaller breast. They often compared them to berry seeds, commented on my usage of sports bras. Most of these comments came from older aunties in the family, people who were close to me and I believed, loved me. Initially, I had no time to let any of these nasty remarks get to me and would laugh it off with them. But then struck puberty! And started the entire circus of how now I was a lady and how I should now cross my legs when sitting, stop playing cricket with the neighborhood boys, talk like a lady and that all other bullshit. And my small breasts now seemed to affect the whole world and none were reluctant to voice their concerns.
I was just stepping into my teenage life and slowly all those comments started affecting me too. I would often look into the mirror and wished I had bigger fuller breast. This was also the time when I was the house captain of my school, the best female athlete around, representing the school everywhere, be it in sports or science conferences, basically blessed with a great life.
But even with all those feathers in my cap, all I could be worried about was my small breasts, like really?
However luckily for me, I was strong enough to never give into my insecurities and trust me, I had many more, like a very dark skin (what else do you expect from girls who play football), buck teeth, which my mother was paranoid about (maybe she thought I will never find a husband) and..wait for it…cheek bones! Yes, my mother was worried that I didn’t have a rounder face and had cheekbones jutting out instead…!!!
Anyways, point is I never let any of these change my life, though I did have a setback when I was about 15 and suffered from a very low self-esteem during this time, luckily for me I was blessed with some great friends in my boarding school who motivated me all the way and I left my insecurities behind in the boarding.
But while I was lucky to have come out of it so easily, not every girl/boy might have a similar support system all time. Hence through this post, I would like to create the awareness that every small thing you say or do remarking someone’s physical appearance, no matter how light you feel it is, it might have an engraving impact on that person’s mind, especially if he/she is someone close to you. And while the person might not react at that point, those words might come back and haunt them at a later point in their lives.
There are many awareness programs all across the world talking about stuff like how we should make the LGBT community feel inclusive, how we should be considerate to our physically challenged fellow colleagues etc, but no one ever mentions body shaming and somehow, everyday remarks about these seem normal.
My only request to everyone reading this is to be considerate towards each other and rethink the kind of comments we make shaming someone else’s tummy fat, pulled eyes, heavy bosom etc. How would you feel if someone were to make a joke on your shortcomings? Instead, spend a minute focusing on the positives of that person, he/she might be a great artist or a very good orator, may be his business acumen is excellent!
At the end of the day, you are only as good as the memories people hold of you. How would you be liked to remembered? A shallow negative individual worth avoiding or as someone with a positive aura. The choice is yours!
Until next time,
Spread some love!
Outfit Details: Saree – Mother Earth, Belt – Koovs.com, Earrings – Westside, Strapped Stilettos – Zara, Denim Dress – Alia Bhat for Jabong.com
P.S: If you’re curious about the size of my berries, well I am a perfect 32B and I have never been more grateful for any other discovery on this planet than for the Wonder Bra 😀